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Courting Suspicion – Deleted Scene #amwriting

Well, maybe deleted.  I like it enough I might find a way to sneak it back in.  It’s short, but I think it describes Nina and her detective’s relationship perfectly.  This is a work that’s still in progress.  Heavily in progress.  I’m racing towards a deadline here, but I plucked this out just to share and get feedback.  Here it is:

 

He tapped his thumb against the handle of his coffee mug. She hid so much beneath that smooth porcelain exterior. It made him itch to chip away at it.

But she was tired, and he felt like he’d been run over by a Mack truck.

No, picking at her wasn’t the way to go. That wasn’t the way to get her to respond. He knew a better way. His gaze slid to her lips. When she caught him, she flinched. Oh yeah, there were better tactics to get her to talk, but not even he was brave enough to kiss her right now. With those heels, she was liable to hobble him.

 

What do you think?  Save it or toss it?

2 Comments

  1. Allison

    Save. Expand. Repeat/continue!

    I love this peek into the detective’s point of view / thought process. No escape for Nina, lucky lady !

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