I’ve been stuck on that “cute” scene for days. I pushed my computer aside to consider why it wasn’t working and why I wanted to keep it. Finally, it hit me. The scene needed more connection between the characters. I had the dialog, but there needed to be more depth to it – and a reason for the cuteness.
Here’s what I added:
Josie’s movements were stilted when she grabbed for a pen. It slipped out of her grip, did a cartwheel, and landed with a clank against the desktop. Spencer automatically reached for it, but so did she. Their hands bumped. She got the pen.
And he got her.
The moment stilled as they both stared at their joined hands. Every one of Spencer’s senses sharpened. Her skin was as soft as it looked… as supple… He saw the pink of her nail polish. He smelled her perfume again, light and airy. The pulse of her wrist seemed fast. Not even thinking about what he was doing, he stroked his thumb over it.
The steady beat took off. He looked at her swiftly when her breath caught.
But then she was pulling away. “Sorry. I can get a little clumsy sometimes.”
He doubted it. “Josie?”
Now when the cute scene comes, it has more depth. It isn’t cute anymore, it’s sweet. There’s a difference. Sweet is a feeling that you get in your chest. Maybe a tightening in your throat… And that’s what I was looking for and why I kept pounding at this scene in Chapter Two.
I’m still not 100% happy with it, but it’s time to move on. I’m pretty sure I’ll finish up on editing Chapter Two tomorrow. Yes, finally forward movement.